When I first heard the theme for College Briefing 2011 I thought, “That’s odd… Southern Californian, over-stimulated, and church-saturated college students coming together for a weekend of spiritual retreat, and the topic is More? More of what? Don't we have everything? Food, clothing, shelter, clean water, education, entertainment, God. What more could we possibly need?
I slowly began to realize that this word more is unique because it implies a certain dissatisfaction with what we have and who we are. I started to think of people who struggle with addictions. Addicts didn’t dream of growing up to become addicts. Yet at some point their simple desire for more began to outweigh their desire with what they had, or perhaps more importantly who they had become.
In that sense we all to some degree want more. We are restless people in constant forward motion – to get a better job, a bigger house, a nicer car, a healthier family, to serve a greater purpose, to find a deeper meaning. We are human – and we are always running after little bit more.
So I decided to write a song about it. I began jotting down ideas. Once I had some lyrics that I thought worked I bounced them off Forest Home’s High School/College Director Michael Field who is also a songwriter and close friend. Here’s what he emailed back…
When I think of more, I ask myself, “What does ‘more’ look like?”
Are there any words/sentences that could create more desperation?
Do these words encompass everything you want to say?
Is there another way to portray these ideas?
Any words you could use to paint & frame this picture in a different way?
When I think of more I think of something really big. I’ve been thinking a lot of the dichotomy of a Big God and small people and how that relationship works and operates. I’ve been really humbled and blown away by the idea of Big God and little us. It’s like we’re little white paper Dixie cups trying to take in the water from Niagara Falls
I’m just giving you my impressions and trying to stretch our conventional worship language, which might be impossible...
I couldn’t stop thinking about Michael’s email. His words didn't just hit home, they punched me in the stomach. Yes I felt inspired to write, but the gravity of what I was writing about, or rather Who I was writing about stopped me.To ask for more of the God Michael described as "Niagra Falls" was far different than the one I had been imagining.
Michael’s words reminded me that God is God and there is none beside Him. None compares to Him, and I saw that in my own conquest for more I couldn’t just keep putting God on some spiritual shopping list. I began to see all the things in my life that were actually in competition with God; material possessions, dreams of becoming something I’m not. Even fears arose to the surface, and not just fears but my failures were also beginning to fill up my mind. And I realized there just wasn’t any more room left.
How could I ask for more of God when my heart was already overflowing with me?
Days later I came across the ancient response of John the Baptist to the people in John 3, “A man can receive only what is given him from heaven… the bride belongs to the bridegroom… He must become great; I must become less.” Or even better in King James Bible, “He must increase, but I must decrease…” I realized “More” was to be a song about more than some religious obsession. More was about confession, about becoming empty, about the deep need for a second chance.
My buddy Josh is studio musician out of MI in Los Angeles and plays with Urban Rescue often. He does seminars for churches in the LA area and teaches students their role as a worship leader from a guitarist perspective. I asked him if I could post his most recent conference notes and he humbly obliged. Here's what he had to say...
The electric Guitar has meant a lot of things for many different people, Its was first and foremost an innovation, Opening the doorway for creative minds to explore and pioneer new musical genres. Its been a symbol of rebellion, Headlining the rock n roll and grunge movements. Its been a tool for a dreamer, and plenty have invested their life with hopes to one day master the instrument, Either driven by the love of the instrument, or the love of money and women. But for us, the electric guitar is much more than any of these things. It is an instrument of worship, It is our direct line from our hearts to our fathers ears. It is the means by which we ourselves worship, and directly usher the congregation into at time of worship and praise.
This alone I feel should change the game for most of us. But I would be honored if you would join me as we explore different points that have changed the way I view music and my role as a guitarist. This is by no means a complete guide, or a how to clinic, but merely my experiences over the past 6 years playing as a part of a worship band. I hope at the very least this will inspire you to search on your own, and create for the right reasons. Soo lets dive in !
1.Your guitar is your voice.
If there is one thing guitarists are known for (other than being broke and irresponsible) it is that were ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS too loud. Theres this insatiable desire within every guitar player to be front and center, fan blowin in our hair, marshall stack cranked to 10, blasting an audience with 5 thousand notes per second. But let me be the first to tell you, We are the only people that will ever think that’s cool. Music by defenition is the art of expressing ideas and emotions through the elements of Harmony, Melody, and Rhythm. Through that defenition we can see that these 3 elements that make up music are simply tools of expression. There would be no music if there was no emotion or ideas. Now this puts us in a very interesting position. Its actually very humbling but very exciting wouldn’t you say ? Realizing that we as guitar players are nothing but one piece of a grand musical scheme. Which brings me to my point. We have a very defined place in the world of music. We are the dynamic driving force behind our vocalist. We can single handedly up the energy substantially with a simple stomp of our distortion pedal. We string together just a couple notes and have people humming the rest of the day. We can accent a few notes in the higher register with bends and portray emotional distress like no one else. But our job isn’t to impress, It is to compliment. It is to play tastefully and accurately, and above all accent the emotion and the words the vocalist is trying to communicate.
Think back to both the last guitar solo you played, and the last conversation you had. Chances are, Regarding the guitar solo, It was the only guitar solo that set, for that matter it may be the only guitar solo your musical director will let you take that whole month. Now if your anything like me, You sat w/ your guitar in hand, ran the changes, and thought to yourself. “ How can I fit as many notes into this solo as possible” and even further than that, Chances are that when it came down to your solo, You where soo excited/nervous that you almost completely disregarded your prepared solo and went back to our trusty pentatonic box, bent a little on the g string, and played your old riffs as hard and loud as you could. Now think about your last conversation, and lets say it was a really close friend. Chances are you where very cool, very collected, You spaced your words calmly, accented the ends of your phrases by modulating your pitch up for a question, or ending lower to communicate a statement. We’ve all come across that person that just talks way too much and way too fast, Doesn’t give you enough time to digest what they are saying, and even worst doesn’t give you room to talk.
It goes without saying that we would 100 percent of the time chose the calm conversation with our friend. A big reason for this is because we have nothing to prove. Our friends know what we are about, We don’t need to show off and blast them with more information than they can handle. Soo why is it that we only apply these concepts to conversation? When if we think about it, Our guitar is our voice in the band.
It would also go without saying that God knows us better than anyone on this earth. Soo what are we trying to prove ? The most successful guitar players are not always the ones that play the fastest, They’re the ones that know their place, And compliment the band.
Which leads me to my conclusion, A tasteful riff with killer tone, will be appreciated exponentially over a shred riff. Yea you might impress your friends, But at the end of the day who are you playing for ? and what are you playing for ? For respect ? to be impressive ? Or to Worship the God that gave you the ability to play.
2. Know Your Instrument, Respect your Instrument, Be Prepared
"For it is like a man going on a journey, who summoned his slaves and entrusted his property to them. To one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey."
There are many dimensions to a musician, and there are many theory’s to what makes a good musician. But there is one very stiff prerequisite which is talent, and sadly that is one thing we are either born with or without. Long before our conception, God had a plan for our life, and for some reason he decided we would be gifted with the talent of music. An ease with both rhythms and melody that many people ardently desire. Now it would be very easy to just shrug it off and say “God gave me this talent, and he made me as good as he wanted me to be” To which I would argue with the parable of talents. God gifted us with a certain degree of ability, each according to our personality and what he knows we could handle. But as the story goes it would be quite foolish to bury these talents, or to sit on them and not capitolize on them.
We undertook a very serious responsibility when we agreed to dedicate our life to music through God. Not only did we agree to lay down our life before him and live a godly life, But we have agreed to be the very best that we can be before God. At the end of the day this means practice, practice, practice.
We’ve all sat through a service, where the worship band was not on top of their game, and as bad as it sounds, Its always soo very distracting. It becomes increasingly difficult to worship with our musician minds when the band is missing changes, blowing chords, and is just all around not prepared. I am in no way saying you need to be a professional guitarist to offer up your ability to god, But you without a doubt need to be playing to the very best of your ability at that moment. You are expected to put in the hours, learn the songs and be able to perform them like its second nature. Nothing bums me out more than going up on stage nervous, Watching my charts like a hawk and realizing by the end of the worship set that I have no idea what I just played, No idea what words where sang or anything. You need to be soo confident in your playing those songs, that you focus very clearly on your purpose, on offering your joyfull sound to God. Even taking it as far as praying for the congregation mid song, That your chords and voices usher them into an intimate time with God. This is only achievable through hours of practice, preparation and prayer.
Now even despite all your preparation and prayer, There is the fact that you are doing all of this through a Tool made by man. There is always going to be something that can go wrong. A broken string, a bad cable, a short in your amp. Which lead me to my next point. Your guitar is your tool, It is the means by which you communicate your worship. Your guitar needs to be in the best shape possible. You should never be playing on strings more than two weeks old. They lose their shimmer, weaken and are prone to break. In the grand scheme of things, God not only has given you your ability to play, Hes given you everything you are now, Your house, your job, your church. Soo if we put it into prespective, I think we can all go without 1 big mac, and spend our six dollars on a new set of strings every couple of weeks. What is 12 dollars a month compared to the countless blessings he has poured into your life ?
Music is a life long persuit, and there is really no greater blessing than to use your gifts to serve God, and usher people into worship. Practice hard, Pray hard, and God will bless you. Because at the end of it, What would be better than a “good job good and faithful servant.” I hope this has brought some insight into your life as a guitarist, and I look forward to growing In christ and through music with every single one of you.
I have always respected you as a worshipper and songwriter/musician. I did some YWAM and felt really called to be a songwriter some five years ago and have since struggled with what that means. I come from a super cynical world but want to have a really pure heart (which is something that always inspired me in you), which sometimes makes me feel weird if I start to write a lyric that reminds me too much of a cheese ball worship song or that feels over recycled or something. I feel super comfortable just writing sad little folk songs about breakups and everything but know that God's purpose for me is bigger than that. I thought I would hit you up and see where you're at with all this and what you do to keep cynicism at bay, or where your lyrics and melodies came from and how you managed to do something that is undoubtedly creative, pure and worshipful. I want to do something good and would kinda love some of your perspective. As far as I perceive you still have a heart that feels comfortable loving God on stage and everywhere. I don't know what I'm asking, maybe some advice or perspective or something. I was just listening to worship albums that actually seem real and inspiring to me and yours is at the top with Jon Foreman and some other few things.
Thanks dude, Brian
Brian,
I feel like this is definitely a face to face talk and honestly I’d love to just get to know you better. Here’s some thoughts for now, but I would still really like to just hook up for coffee or something sometime… Now I don't know if my writing is "undoubtedly creative, pure and worshipful" – those are very big words… (and a huge compliment) coming from a musician like you. If you only knew how discouraged I get on myself, how hard staying a worship leader has become. It’s all changing so much. I seriously wonder if I want to be a part of “worship” at all. I’m like you. I love to write and often find it easier to write love songs about life, love, etc. But sometimes these songs come into my head that are clearly “worship.” Sometimes it starts with a progression that I think, “I want to save this for a singer-songwriter tune” or “I want to keep this for an Urban Rescue tune.” I find myself ripping myself off all the time; taking lines and melodies from this and that and reserving them for the most specials ideas. And it’s not always clear what should be.
Tolstoy said the best art is one that conveys a particular feeling. Like inception or something, the artist must convey their feelings purely and honestly and in raw form – free of agenda, corruption, etc in order to truly “infect” someone. That’s my goal as a writer, weather it’s “worship” or not.” There are some things that I DO, and I try do them well:
1. Honesty. If I can’t be honest when I say, “I give my hands to You, I give my eyes to You etc. then I won’t record it. I might write it down, but I’ll keep changing it until I know I can sing it honestly.
2. Focus. Worship music sucks right now because it lacks focus. Everybody is throwing every single possible idea about God in ONE SONG. Timeless songs are not written that way. The songs that stick in the most critical of hearts are the songs that hone in a specific idea of God, love, etc. And that’s how I try and write worship songs. Not just songs about God, but about a particular feeling with God.
I feel like that’s where it starts. Instead of trying to figure out the product, I try and focus on the process. Instead of competing with other worship artists I simply come back to, “Well, this is how I feel in my relationship with God.” It’s not comfortable at all. It’s terrifying dude. I usually feel like I have nothing to say and ALWAYS feel like someone can say it better. But that’s not what music is about. I have to always remind myself, “This is me. This is my expression of how I feel.”
I heard Damien Rice talk about songwriting and he said he let’s his audience come to him. He doesn’t go out selling himself but rather does what he does, and let’s go. Or at least that’s how I understand him. When I hear his music I don’t hear him trying to sound like anybody else. In fact I hear more people trying to sound like him. I think that’s because he’s got the guts to just be himself. That’s the hardest part of writing worship songs. BEING YOURSELF and NOT COMPARING.
May I suggest you start with that.
Sincerely,
Jordan
Hey,
This is an awesome response. thanks man. Let's get together. I would love to have a coffee with you and talk face to face. Thanks for the honest and thought out response. I am really encouraged.I think it is something a lot of people would benefit from. I respect your perspective. I have been wondering a lot whether congregational worship songwriting is the most effective way for writers/musicians with a heart for Jesus to best glorify him. I was really moved by that lyric from Jon Foreman about how God hates all our shows and instead desires justice. That is a piece of scripture often omitted (understandably) in the praise/worship bank but one I think we should consider more cautiously. In praise and in singer-songwriter stuff I would love to draw people closer to justice and closer to good lives that honor God. I would love to write something challenging. and Something really honest. I love that you said you won't write a lyric until you know it's what your heart is truly saying, and until it is something you are ready to really apply in your life. You are a genuine worshipper and that shows. Don't get too discouraged (unless that's what God wants from you to lead you in a different direction artistically). I love also the concept of limiting a song's focus more to an attribute of God, life or worship or whatever, instead of trying to sum all truths up in one song. I have noticed that a lot of songs cover way too much ground too quickly and thus sort of cheapen the overall message of each concept and reduce some of the deepest truths of the universe to sort of sing-song repetitions that sometimes detract from something beautiful in God's character instead of glorifying him. Let's get together!
I’m still in the process of deciding whether life is complete chaos or if everything happens for a reason. Everyday I find myself sifting through my thoughts and experiences somewhere down the middle. Something random happens – something in the news for example – and I think, “Man, there is absolutely no continuity in this thing!” Then I go to the chiropractor and I feel as I’ve been miraculously healed and I think, “God, you’re amazing!” It reminds me of Paul McCartney’s song Fine Line: “There is a fine line between recklessness and courage. It's about time you understood which road to take. It's a fine line and your decision makes a difference. Get it wrong you'll be making a big mistake…” I guess what I’m saying is that I still don’t know.
But I think trust is what we do regardless of our knowledge, or lack thereof. Trust is that courageous and perhaps reckless decision to go with our gut – that God-given instinct to pray instead of panic, to fight instead of flee, to trust instead of terrorize. We see a clear picture of Sir Paul McCartney's words in Psalm 146:3-5 (The Message) “Don’t put your life in the hands of experts who know nothing of life, of salvation life. Mere humans don’t have what it takes; when they die, their projects die with them. Instead, get help from the God of Jacob, put your hope in God and know real blessing!” A kind of choice to be completely, well, irrational.
It appears that God desires a relationship with His people way before He desires to make them happy or to answer the questions of life. So often we quote verses like Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” But what we fail to notice every time is the heart behind these ancient words. Underneath this declaration to Exiles is a God longing to be in a back-and-forth, struggling, and relentless relationship with His people.
God wants us to trust him, in the chaos and in the calm. “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:5-6 To lean not on our own understanding is to lay down the fight for the answers and simply let God be God. I know it’s easier said than done, but that’s exactly the point. Trust is a choice, a choice to return to the simple faith we had as children knowing almost nothing of the world.
In Numbers 20:11-12 we find this exact struggle after Moses raises his arm to strike the rock twice with his staff… “Water gushed out, and the community and their livestock drank. But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them.” Isn’t it odd that after all that Moses did not fully trust in God. It seems God desires to be trusted as we walk the fine line between chaos and creation.
Theology sometimes doesn’t help me know how to trust in God, rather provides more complications for me to ponder during times of suffering. It seems to me Calvin’s idea of “general grace” and Wesley’s idea of “preveinient grace” were virtually one in the same – just looking at the same object from two different angles. But trust – that can not be taught. Trust is a motion, a reaction, a choice. Trust isn’t something we can just invoke by pulling up our bootstraps and going to work every morning. Trust is a natural instinct. It’s only as our trust is broken that we begin to spiral into doubt of what once felt safe and secure. We see this most clearly in our interpersonal relationships, in business, and in any other brand of teamwork. Yet it seems the older we get the harder it becomes to trust our neighbors, to believe in our friends, and to place our hope in the One we can not see. And this perhaps continues to become the greatest challenge of life.
We are not as we appear. We are broken, often misguided, and in competition with one another. We struggle with advancement in the workplace, and deal with an incredible amount of guilt because we’ve done so in the name of Jesus. Our calling is so fragile that we forget we need the Sovereign strength, goodness, and grace of God to lead us through Competition. Success. Fame. Significance. Remembrance. These are the demons of the Church. They distract us from the course and lead us down avenues we wished we had not traversed – like running through a dark forest we are lost without the direction of God.
But who can escape these voices? I would venture to say that even the Mother daily fought to keep these voices far from her subconscious. In fact recent articles have described her as dealing with mental illness and severe depression. And who could blame her? If only believers had their lives exposed like the movie stars in the media. The fact of the matter remains: We are all human, and as such we will continually struggle to remain pure at heart in what we do.
I love the book of Ecclesiastes because it’s so completely raw, honest, and true. There’s no intended purpose or hidden agenda within the writing – other than the desire to simply tell the truth…
“Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless. As goods increase so do those who consume the. And what benefit are they to the owner except to feast his eyes on them? The sleep of a laborer is sweet, whether he eats little or much, but the abundance of a rich man permits him no sleep.”
The Christian life is like planting a garden in a minefield. We think we’re exempt from temptations and exempt from daily footholds, but we must recognize that even ministry provides the continual opportunity for the advancement and promotion of our cause. Passion, desire, ambition – while in and of themselves are not bad things – can lead us to places we would never dream, doing things we’d only wish of doing. But I can’t help but wonder, “Do we really belong there?” When do fame, success, and growth evolve into a systemic evil in the real world? When does our love for God become merely a mode of survival?
A musician-mentor friend of mine called me about a month ago to simply encourage me in my music. He told me things that resonated so deeply I don’t think they’ll ever leave. And after he was done singing my praises and lifting me up he said something I’ll never forget:
“Just remember we live in an upside-down Kingdom.”
His words are the same words King Solomon wrote so eloquently so many generations ago:
“I undertook great projects: I built houses for myself and planted vineyards. I made gardens and parks and planted all kinds of fruit trees in them. I made reservoirs to water groves of flouring trees. I bought male and female slaves and had other slaves whoe were born in my house. I also owned more herds and flocks than anyone in Jerusalem before me. I amassed silver and gold for myself, and the treasure of kings and provinces. I acquired men and women singers, and a harem as well the delights of the heart of man. I became greater by far than anyone in Jerusalem before me… I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure… yet when I surveyed all they my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.”
Are you able to sleep in the Upside-down Kingdom? Is there enough rest in your relationship with God to lay your head at night in peace? I would guess that even our Lord Jesus knew these temptations. Jesus felt the pressures of success and fear of failure. He was well acquainted with the sorrow of a life not fully lived. One restless night in the garden we find the rock bottom heart of Jesus in Luke 22:42, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”
Oh that my heart would be as His, that I would make choices of downward mobilization in so far as it gives God glory! Oh to have an undivided heart, fixed on the prize of being like Jesus, and nothing else. Oh how far I have to go…
Amidst all the painters, writers, and poets it’s the artist that make us “feel” that particular feeling that keeps us connected to their art, to the artist, and to each other. Art infects us – transmitted from one person to another like the flu. It should be felt and we should experience its affects as the artist waits for their work to be noticed – like an unseen flower smelled or spotted flash of lightening. And on the other hand, art is lost the minute we sense the fragrance of replication, because art that does not infect is not art at all. What simply modifies what has been done before not only prevents us from encountering that sense of unique feeling but also keeps us feeling emotionally static and disconnected.
Tolstoy’s final publication, “What Is Art?” includes not only these sentiments but also some rather extreme views on what is good and bad art. In his criticism of Wagner he mentions something that struck me as a songwriter:
“Wagner wants to correct opera by making music subserve the demands of poetry and merge with it. But each art has its own definite sphere, not coinciding with but only touching upon other arts, and therefore if the expressions, not of many, but even only of two arts, the dramatic and the musical, are joined into a single whole, the demands of the one art will make it impossible to fulfill the demands of the other, as always used to happen in ordinary opera, where dramatic art subserved, or rather yielded place to, musical art… this cannot be, just as there cannot be, not only two people, but even two leaves on a tree that are completely the same. Still less can two works from different spheres of art – the musical and the verbal – be completely the same. If they do coincide, then either one is a work of art and the other a counterfeit, or both are counterfeits.”
I’ve actually had the opportunity to go to the opera in downtown San Diego and witness Wagner for myself. I’m not an expert by any means on Wagner, or Tolstoy for that matter, but I think after experiencing Wagner I can understand more of where Tolstoy is coming from. The play was in German but there were English subtitles for those of us who don’t speak German to understand the dialog. The opera was a four and a half hour performance with a 20-minute intermission. All to say I was just about holding on for dear life towards the end. Boring I think is the word I would use to describe my experience.
The orchestra would ascend, followed by an actor more or less interpreting what we just heard in the music. Back and forth: music, narrative, music, narrative. Something was lost. I would have rather just let the music paint a picture in my head, closed my eyes, and listened without a lady belting out the story for me. My high school teacher Mr. Geib always criticize our essays striking the pages with annotations shouting “Show, don’t tell!” Nothing could be further from Wagner. It was all right there, handed to you on a platter, even translated into plain English.
The more I think about Tolstoy’s view on art the more I have to agree with him. There is indeed something lost when lyric and music come together. One has to be noticed and take precedent over the other. There is sacrifice either in the poetry or in the music as both are completely different art forms, and we feel this when we listen to music. I hear all the time the diversity in how we listen. “I love that song! I’m a lyrics person, that person is such a good writer.” Or “I love that song. I have no idea what they’re saying, but I just love it.” (We would call that a “music” person) Whatever the song, Tolstoy is on to something. In the writing process we draw from the melodies that we are familiar with in our culture as we do language in poetry. These vastly different expressions collide in what makes what we call a song, but that leaves me to a bigger question: Isn’t that what I do?
Wagner was a type of songwriter of sorts, using music and lyric to tell a particular story.He painted upon the silent canvass of life and used melody as a means of creating art. This is the role of a musician. But he also wrote poetry, words, and metaphor to be sung heard, experienced, and thought upon – the role of a songwriter. So how could Tolstoy claim that songwriting be a “counterfeit” art form? Dylan, McCartney, Bono – are these not the names of artists?
I believe the goal of the songwriter is to keep refining the path of impossibility; to merge these two forms, poetry and music, into one single expression of feeling and emotion. The songwriter must coincide their feelings to the utmost degree and let the song speak for itself, rather than telling everyone what their song is about. The music must weave throughout the lyric that they become utterly united and inseparable. Tolstoy goes on to say:
“If poetry and music can more or less combine in hymns, songs and ballads (not in such a way that music follows each verse of the text, as Wagner wants, but so that the one and the other produce the same mood), that happens only because lyrical poetry and music have in part the same goal – to produce a mood; and the moods produced by lyrical poetry and music may more or less coincide. Yet in these combinations the centre of gravity is always in the one of the two productions, so that only one of them produces an artistic impression, while the other goes unnoticed, Still less can there be such a combination of epic or dramatic poetry and music…
Besides that, one of the main conditions of artistic creativity is the total freedom of the artist from any sort of preconceived demands. Yet the necessity of adjusting one’s musical work to a poetic work, or vice versa, is just such a preconceived demand, which destroys any possibility of creative work, and therefore productions of this kind, adjust to each other, have always been and can only be, not works of art, but simulacra of it, like the music in melodramas, captions under pictures, illustrations, opera librettos.”
So what does this have to do with worship? Worship has become a genre of its own. You can literally listen to the first 5 seconds of a song from your play list and know, “This is a worship song.” Why?Because of the very thing Tolstoy has identified here, that art ceases to become art, or at least good art when it has to meet it’s own preconceived demands. In other words, worship has to sound like worship because we believe has a particular sound, language, and emotion – which it probably does! But, what if worship began to sound different, without representing itself so much that it’s actually translated verbatim for our listening pleasure. What if worship told more of a story, both musically and lyrically? What if worship didn’t sound like worship anymore?
I think the most obvious example of this is John Mark McMillan’s “How He Loves.” There’s not one person (Including David Crowder himself) that has not heard that song and cried, touched, or moved. It’s because not only the way stylistic way the music coincides with lyrics, but the overall mode in which the song is expressed. It’s musical poetry! But there are other examples we may not notice due to the current nature of the particular genre of “worship.” “John Wayne Gracy, Jr.” by Sufjan Stevens for example is timeless song about a mass murderer. The song is horrendously beautiful. One can hear the creeks beneath the floorboards as the piano keys press ever so slightly as Sufjan whispers, “And in my best behavior, I am really just like him, look beneath the floorboards for the secrets I have hid.” This is a call to communion, a call of repentance, forgiveness, and grace.
Yet our typical response to these kinds inspirations is to then begin merely copying and modifying their work to create our contributions. But Tolstoy would say that is the beginning step toward the trap of simulacra – a vague, tentative, or shadowy resemblance to something else. And while that attempt might prove successful, what people need is infection, the kind of song that speaks for itself, uninhibited by it’s predecessors and freely expressed on it on accord. We need worship that is more like the Psalms, honest, unafraid, and heartfelt prayers that connect us to each other, and ultimately to God.
What does this song mean to YOU? Leave us a comment below.
The primary source of Closer's musical inspiration stems from Seattle singer-songwriter Jeremy Enigk. I was first introduced to Jeremy Enigk's music in college and was forever struck by his lavish approach to melody and heart. His music just crawls under the skin - in the best way possible. Have you ever heard a song that you can just listen to over and over and it never gets old? The first song "A New Beginning" on his album World Waits (2006) is one of those songs for me. The song is only a 1 minute and 27 second instrumental, but it always has a way of leading me to the next song, and the next song, and the next song. I always just end up listening to the whole album! So we wanted to kick off our album with "Closer," our poetic interpretation of Enigk's "A New Beginning."
Lyrically, I've always criticized Christian artists/songwriters that use romantic language as their semantic field when referring to God in worship. It's almost as if their relationship with the Creator of the universe could be interchangeable with the way they feel about their boyfriend or girlfriend. It's as if the same song could be performed by a pop star on the radio, and nobody would know the difference. These songs to me have always lacked meaning and depth of insight, unlikesongslike Christ the Solid Rock or Blessed Be the Name which seem to have a theological longevity.
But then something changed in my spirit, rather, something returned...
During the writing process of our previous self-titled EP I emailed worship leaders, pastors, and professors from all over asking them to discuss the contents of my songs and even propose theological amendments to the lyrics. But during that project I realized that I had down played the language of love, that I was lacking expression of my own relationship with God. It seemed that in an attempt to please a majority, I had failed to speak my own feelings toward God. As I began to explore how I truly felt I realized all I want is to be closer. All I wanted was to see His face, to know my Heavenly Father intimately like before.
Why is that we are so afraid of getting close to the ones we love? What is it about the language of love that scares us in worship? Why is it that often the one we hide from can be the very one we need?
I think one of the reasons we're afraid of getting close is that we don't want to change. That may sound predictable, but I believe we have this idea somewhere deep inside our hearts that we're simply not good enough to get close - so we just opt out altogether, masking our need for intimacy elsewhere. The Bible is full of stories of people who once they get close to God, they either bow down low or fall fall down dead. Yet the Gospel is the story of God coming to earth once and for all, to make a way for us to be in His presence without fear and anxiety. What a thought!
Modern Christianity has made God out to be such an ominous power, especially in terms of grace,so much so that even the topic of love has become trivialized into doing things for God to earn God's approval. But real grace, true grace, is the kind that says, "I love you, and there's nothing you could do to make me love you any more, or any less." This is the kind of love we don't understand. We are convinced we have to make substantial and measurable progress to be loved by God because that's the way our culture operates. You do this, you get that. But in the presence of God the angels remind us, "Do not be afraid."
God knows you, yet love you all the same. Romans 12 (The Message) says, "Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you." We should have every reason to fear standing in the presence of a Holy, spotless, blameless God. But this is why "in the light of mercy, and in the arms of His grace" becomes the context in which we can come closer.
The setting of this song can be found in Acts Chapter 2, at least the way I see it. The disciples are together worshiping God, and in an instant, everything changed. The Holy Spirit suddenly made God's presence available to all, not just to those who were near to Him. The Helper, the Promise, the Counselor - these are the names Jesus used to describe the Spirit that would come after His departure. I believe Jesus was not omnipresent. He could not fly around from city to city or be at multiple places at once. He was a man. And that's precisely why He made such big deal about God the Spirit. The Spirit meets us, inhabits our praise, and indeed leads us in worship. The Spirit testifies that Jesus is in fact the Son of God and allows us to see the simple truths found in Scripture. This may sound like a bit like THEO 101, but I can't emphasize enough just how precious and important the Holy Spirit is in our lives.
For as much as I am a talker, there have been many times when I can't find the words to say to God. When my mom was going through chemotherapy I found myself prayerless. Mom always taught me that when you can't find the words to say to God, just let your heart do the talking. God really doesn't care how articulate you are anyway. "Just let what's inside come out, trusting that God hears and understands what you need" she would say. Later I discovered in Romans 8 that, "...the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."
For some time now I've thought that worship (at least the way it's done today) is rather absurd. When you love somebody, you tell them. When you truly love somebody, words are not enough to express how you feel. You have to show it. You have to let them know. You have to decide. Words will never be enough to express to the King of Kings why we feel or how much glory the Maker deserves. God deserves worship that in uncontainable - the kind that only the Holy Spirit can direct and lead. The bridge of "Contain Our Love" was written specifically for you to do so. To dance. Shout. Clap. Did I say dance? Not holding back, but responding with everything within - that is worship God likes, the kind of worship God deserves.
This was the song that catapulted the album. After a year or so since our previous EP I came to a stand still, or writer's block, or whatever you'd like to call it. I realized I was trying so hard to write more songs that I wasn't actually writing songs anymore. I know it sounds odd but I found myself taking the elements I had and forcing them into fit into the tiny box we call "worship." I was stuck trying so hard to squeeze myself back into this particular genre of music, but nothing was coming of it - at least nothing authentic.
So I scratched everything and stopped writing altogether (if you're a writer in any capacity you know exactly the feeling). Why was I so driven to do this? Why was I getting so frustrated? Feelings of anger began to emerge and I began to question my abilities altogether. Do I even have anything to offer the Church? I am even a "real artist?" I felt alone and my soul spiraled into this kind of depressed static state of self doubt.
Then one night driving into downtown San Diego I saw the city lights off in the distance from the freeway. I saw the glow of each window and the soul of each person managing life, getting by, day in and day out - each light represented by an broken and empty heart. I thought, "This must be the way most people operate; semi-depressed, alone, working at something just to feel the sense of accomplishment and value. In that moment I felt in sync with the city, and in the same instance began to hurt and feel the pain of my own isolation. I realized that night that I could just as easily kept going, trying to make something of myself, writing songs, trying to be somebody... and all the while I knew the heart inside my chest would just keep beating for a place to call my spiritual home.
I remember when I first started leading worship in Junior High, stepping up to the microphone for the first time but standing back like three feet away from it. There was a sense of innocence and honesty during that time. I had nothing to prove. Sometime I would just go to my knees on stage instead of leading the actual song, or just be silent. It didn't matter. It's almost comical how that kind of leadership wouldn't never fly in the Church today - unconcerned about transitions or lights or cues or results. We just worshiped.
So that night in my mind I began to write again... "For every castle that I've made, to all at once be swept away, till I'm drowning, and I'm reaching out for You." It hit me in the most painful, beautiful way: I'd rather be drowning in the ocean and reaching out for God then completely content, floating along, managing my life, and not really needing any help.
I love what David Crowder says in his song, "Wholly Yours."
But the harder I try the more clearly can I feel The depth of our fall and the weight of it all And so this might could be the most impossible thing Your grandness in me making me clean
"Sing" is just that for me. It's realizing I need a miracle - not just for God to bless my food, or to give me a new car, or to help me have a good day. I need God to tear down the walls of my heart that I dont' even realize are there; walls that I've built, walls that I keep me from the Kingdom of Jesus around me. This song is for those who feel the same - who know they need help but are too cracked and calloused to know where to start. This is for those who maybe have sung all their lives, but have never fully given over the dangerous heart of God, a song for those who need to truly sing a new song.
Hi there! If you're reading this page you're most likely a fan of Urban Rescue, or heard about us and just checking things out. JustToBeHere.com is a forum where everybody can interact and tell their story about how these songs have affected their lives. In expectation of the release of our new album "Just To Be Here," we're so excited to tell you the full story behind each song, and even more excited to hear how the songs speak to you.
